Thursday, May 23, 2013

Nothing more...

Why is it that it seems some of us go through heartbreak and others do not? I know everyone has their own struggle. But tonight, as I was creepin' through facebook, my heart started to hurt. All I have ever wanted was a mentally healthy loving husband, healthy kids and a house to call home. Life was some what on track and then it derailed. I am happy for my friends who enjoy these blessings. But tonight, my heart aches. It aches for the precious little boy who woke up an hour into his sleep and quickly sat up to tell me he misses daddy. Filled with questions as to why daddy isn't with us, he tried to lie back down.  I tried to calm his heart and answer him as honestly and reassuringly as I could. I reminded him of all the people that love him, including God. He said, "You know who will never ever ever break my heart? God." I pray that is always true. I know that it is, I know He keeps His promises. But the reality of our fleshy hearts is that it doesn't always feel true.

On days when I have moments like this, I keep a list of happy memories or good things that happened, hoping it will lift my spirits. Lately, that hasn't been working. I'm gonna give it a go here anyways.

I ran 3 miles and gave myself a boot camp
Created a fitness class flyer to pass out at my kids preschool and
Got up the courage to ask the teacher if I could put it in all the kids cubby to take home (she said yes)
Passed out 2 flyers to some moms
Took a nap
Took kids swimming
Made dinner ahead of time
Made Arbonne calls
Studied and took one of my many quizzes for my fitness instructor certificate
Took a shower
Husband said he'll put money in account for me to take out - yay! (Lets just say its been a while)
Poppa Bill had a bit of a scare but is ok - hurray!


  1. Whether you know it or not, my heart aches with you....and the "fix" is one day, one step, one prayer at a time. We all face those times when we realize there just ain't no short cut out of this one. I wrote a letter to someone tonight...and thought I'm still, whether I like it or not, "in recovery" - this outlet {writing, photography and meeting other people in the blogosphere!} has been an absolute God sent blessing for me...and I hope it will be for you too! And, yes...I should be in bed! Night!

  2. A couple years late, but thank you very much. Please keep reading and posting. It helps.